The Cookie Dough

Why do we do things we know are bad for us?  I am willingly partaking in an act that counteracts what I want to achieve, yet I do it anyway.  Chewing and spitting undoubtedly  makes me fat, but I continue to do it.  Everyday I set out saying I’m not going to do it, and then I do it…and I feel bad about it, and I tell myself I’m quitting and then tomorrow comes and I weakly give in again.

My husband decided he wanted to make cookies, nothing special, he just felt like some tollhouse chocolate chip cookies and he threw the package of precut squares into the shopping cart.  Little did he know it was like putting heroin in an addicts hands, I knew I could not resist it.  Later that night we made some of the cookies and ate them like normal humans after dinner, the rest we wrapped up in the fridge.  The next day it started with me just taking 2 squares and chewing them, he wouldn’t notice 2.. The next day I had more, but now it was getting low so I put it in the back of the fridge hoping he wouldn’t notice.  Grocery day came and I had a brilliant idea, I had been slowly eating the cookie dough, so why don’t I buy a new one, chew some and replace what I had eaten from the first batch so he won’t notice.  I bought 3 more packs of cookie dough…3!  I just kept chewing it and replacing it until I realized…he’s not looking for the cookie dough….like a normal person he wanted cookies one day, had some cookies one day, and never thought about the damn cookie dough again!  Like what the HELL is wrong with me!!!! Thoughts of this cookie dough have consumed me for over a week and he never thought of it again…

I finally stopped buying it.  One day in the far future he’ll possibly ask me if “that cookie dough is still good” where I’ll laugh it off saying I slowly finished the package while he has no idea of the meticulous restock I was doing for days. I’m still chewing everyday, it’s not that much compared to my worst days but it’s enough to make me look like my belly is 5 months along.  Can I just stop already? Like what the hell is wrong with me?  Maybe I could really look amazing and let my exercise pay off if I just literally shut my mouth.  Yet I continue to self sabotage.

 

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