Is This Ever Going to End

Is this ever going to end? I had two weeks “clean” no binges, no chewing, and I was proud of it.  It happened by accident, two days went by that I had no opportunity to chew, so once I realized it was two days I just went with it and I made it all the way to two weeks.  It felt really good.  Stress hit me and so did my habit, two weeks out the window.  Same story, cookies, chocolate, a headache, bloated stomach and a couple of extra pounds on the scale, I threw it all away.  That led to a few more days of chewing, not as severe, the usual once a day, but the weight stayed on bc my insulin just stayed high.

I’m two days with no chewing again, but I really want to!  I’ve started thinking, can I really beat this on my own?  Do I really need to take time away from my family to go to a therapist to tell me stop spitting out my food?  What is wrong with me…seriously, just stop eating like a moose, why am I obsessed with food!?!  I’m so frustrated!

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