Eating in the closet

I did it again, I promised God I would stop, and it was a good run, but I did it again.  My husband went out with a friend, I was alone, which doesn’t happen much, and I was craving food, sugar mainly, even though I had eaten plenty today and already had 2 brownies, nothing could stop me at this moment, I went straight for the chocolate chip cookies.  There were probably a dozen and a half in the box and they were gone within minutes, but not eaten, just chewed and spit out in my napkin,  just to get the taste, ugh they are so good! That sent me into the usual tailspin, a few bites of ice cream next, followed by some chocolate chips I use for baking, same thing, chew them, taste them, spit them. Pathetically enjoying every minute, soon the guilt will set in.  I chew, I spit, I binge eat, and I hide it from everyone I know….